So while walking home from my dads, i had taken a few moments to realize a few things and one being the affection from men and how…i dont miss it.

Now, the act of sex, sure the desire is strong however the act of going out and doing acts like texting for booty..hasn’t pressed me. Not sure how that came about but my urge to text the two who I am actively seeing, is not there. The activeness is no longer. 

Have I gotten bored?!Yes, bored of calling and no answers. Yes,bored of one ended converstations, that the ultimate topic is sex. Constantly reminding me of past experiences and when the reliving will begin, i have no desire to. I realize that I am good at my craft however,thats not me. That’s not who I am. All women have yonies so why am I any diffrent? Everyone has an mouth…an ass, so why is mine any different. 

I believe I have grown tired of cardinal affairs. Though, I desire, crave, lust after orgasms, just…not…with…them. They are tired. I desire something new.

That goes for all my past lovers. At times,I reminise about days and nights of lust engagements I had participated in. The moans and raw images forever play on my minds reel. A many part series,I catch myself remenbering. Yet those memories are just that…no need to replay or recreate them again for the risk of my own sanity. So i don’t reach out, go on Facebook and message them; proclaiming enternal love and adoration I have for them. Lies just to feel some amount of sexual want from them. It is just…not…there. 

I deserve something withstand, something long lasting after the lust disapates. That the cloud of new love lifts and that there is me standing, in raw form, awaiting for the ONE who can handle me.

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