I woke up sad…i woke up broken. I woke up to a crack in the very nature of my heart, reopening the wound to just exaserbate it. Pulling off the bandaid to the wound not fully healed.
I had done things to get over the breakup…suturing others to mold itself to what I want to come. A better me, a more understanding sense of self so that next person would apperciate me more. Love me deeper. Like me infinate. But i didnt allow her to heal. To take step back and evvaulate the mistakes and take responsiblity for the damage…yet she doesnt. Her eyes are blinded by rage. Her mind is caged in a box of angish and hurt. I admit…i’m the reason. Yet,I acknowledge my human error and in efforts of correcting it.
She didnt hear me through those text of spewed fustration. She didnt read my remorse. I have been so tired of carrying the obvious, in EVERY relationship, whether it was her or my ex best friend. I have swallowed the bitter pill and its effects have subsided. Her or theres have a last effect. Lingering internally whereas, I have convinced myself that it had passed. Yet her words echo like cathdreal bells. Shaking me at the very core of my spirit.
It’s dead…remorse nowhere in sight. The page never end beautifully, gracefully concluding a dissolved love. Yet, what could you possibly say? You didnt convice yourself that she’d willing to? The light,like many had blown out. Nothing left of cinders of memories. You want to live those moments again but…into the sky they shimmer…You tried. Thats what any perseon could ask of you. You swallow that pride just to save face. A confident front but inside, you are grasphing for life,anew.