Hello folks,

Today is hard solely because I’m supposed to be quitting smoking (cigarettes ) and then going onto social media, being in the house all day(on my own accord), I am losing it.

My ex-gf moments ago put up a new engagement and I wanted to barf. Now, I’m not at all jealous. I mean, why should I be? I am happy in my own relationship. What baffles me is that she just reconnected and rekindled their relationship a week prior to me flying down to Pa this past July. To now claim to marry her?!What the hell?

Now,I had been telling her to take her time and slow down. Nope. Nope. Nope. The very same advice, she let fall on deaf ears. Why again,I ask would you get on board with marriage when you just left the girl in the cold. Further,encourage her to see past her girls exterior and yet,nothing.

Marriage now,I feel is a joke. Everyone and anyone can take the sanctity of marriage,define it themselves (no matter how wrong) and bam, bring on the rice. Ugh!

I swear today couldn’t make me feel like I’m either going crazy or madness. Mad at everything for no reason. I want to continue to pinch holes into her relationship but hell, it’s her life. Shall I watch this inevitable trainwreak that will later lead down that divorce trail? Why can people take those things like getting hitch serious.

Thinking maybe it’s me, my feelings of treading along while others are running by. Why,why,uggghhhh why? I wish I didn’t compare everything to my life but it happens.