Today, I actually took a step and wrote down my goals and writing them, made me feel excited and overwhelmed. There are so many things I want to, goals to accomplish however I feel my mind going over the “What if” “But” or “However” pessimistic side of thinking. Sure a lot of goals that I have, i would need to pay for services (Yoga classes, art lessons, school…) yet, i had taken a microscopic step towards the right direction to achieve these goals. For one, i’m writing more, or anything that compels me to write. Right now, i am compelled to write to see not only what I actually think about what I have done or doing but strive to improve in writing, period. This gives me excitement, little excitement, but excitement nonetheless.
I’m at the library right now, for two hours, and all i’m thinking about is finishing this application to get health insurance. Going on the website, however, tells me that I would need to wait till Monday. I have an interview at a dispensary and this is the one job I had always wanted. Anxious to go into the interview and slam dunk it. I mean, I know A LOT about Marijuana and i wanna pass down my knowledge to others to educate them and change this preconceived idea that it’s a drug. It’s only a drug since the government want to continue their mind control device called “fear”. I only wish my mom would have benefited from it. I know if she had learned more, she may or may not been here. If the end result was still death, at LEAST i would have had more time with her. Who wouldn’t want more time with their loved one?
There is Hempfest in town and i am supposed to be going. I’m killing time since a) my girlfriend is working and b)I don’t want to go by myself. I am going for learning more about the industry and may way in networking, possibly. I do see myself opening one, similar to California, The Green Door but something much smaller. You know, gotta start small. I don’t see it as a glorified job, its one that brings back jobs to the common, neighbor next door people. One who wanna branch from the restraints of corporate America and the pharmaceuticals but wanna bring back herbal medicine on the market. Marking their own rules and extending the quality of life. It’s frown upon because it’s not understood. I am thankful I come from a background where family and friends see the positives it does have in regards to their own lives and in others that can benefit. Me, personally, I don’t know what i would do without it. It keeps me leveled, at times, more clear-headed when it comes to making decisions. I am not high-strung as I am usually and I am always wanting food when I don’t even have the appetite for it. I can only see what other benefits it does, and I wanna know what direction it’s going in the world.
Sigh, at least i can say I did do something in the direction of my goals…I’ll make it to Hempfest but right now, just killing time, clearing the thoughts riding on a 20 mph train by putting it on paper, well this case, blogging about it.
Over and out,