I am currently in Lititz with one of my dearest friends, and we were having one of the best times together before I go to Cali and while were driving the same route, my mind wander on the same road that she had told me a story about, one that made me feel sad and angry about, either way, I created a piece in light of that moment…
She takes the same route, through the wooded boarders,heading into various part of town. Hitting highways filled with small businesses and other attractions that makes the worlds coolest town, THE town. Soon, we past the familiar homes that represents the wealthy. It wasn’t lavish, however, it showed that comfortable living is obtainable. These homes I’ve seen were only a physical representation of the rise from the bottom,one that I wanted. She tells me that it isn’t all as it seem.
She tells me her daughter lives in one of those houses, nestled behind a gate. A round-faced, blue-eyed four year old plays there with her paternal grandmother. She explains the twist and turns, the betrayal and the scandal that ultimately put her 1st child there. Yet, she does have the pain breaking in her voice. She doesn’t seem bother, as much as I am. I secretly cry, trying to imagine what my life would be if I had my first blessing held from me.
I began to wonder what keeps her from being a gladiator, burning the village and retrieve the precious gem that was her daughter? She had the infinite potential to be an amazing mother, yet her feet and mind have cease on those opportunities that have been given to her. The ones that constantly consist of run-around,through loopholes that eventually lead to nowhere. The world is the oyster that she Is reluctant of putting her toes in.
She speaks about the future,one in which she speaks of the boys she’s planning on having with her fiance. My mind can’t wrap around the idea of starting a family when one is already there. I don’t see the various pictures of the progression as she grows up. The warming smile as she is dressed in the seasonal wear as her mother hold her. That’s what gives me the thought that maybe she wants to erase the evidence of a failed relationship. Yet, it can’t, when she’s under the care of her dads family, one of a higher prestige then she. And to constantly being reminded, going down this very road ignites a fire in me. However, she sees a light in the horizon, by starting anew with her future husband.
She looks at that house as being the right choice for her. Being that her daughter being raised in good hands, idle hands nonetheless. And the more she speaks about it, the more I don’t want to believe it however it’s becoming clear. She wants to block any thought. She doesn’t want to look in those blue eyes since they remind her of the regret four years ago.
We continue to drive, allowing those homes fade into the background,my frustration stayed boiled. I shake my head in disbelief, allowing this very road be the continuing shadow of her fairy tale, one that she didn’t want to start. Or one she doesn’t want to complete,turning blank pages in hopes that future of her seed grows into the princesses she dreams of.
Sn: this was all written on my phone app…I’m impressed… lol
Peace and love,