Hey folks,

First off: Happy Thanksgiving, Happy Holidays, Feliz día de accíon de gracias! Whatever you say or celebrate, I hope that todays is filled with joy and good company…

 

Today, for me has been extremely hard for the reason is that I’m in a place that I don’t want to be, nor with the person that has sucked every life being out of me. But it’s much deeper than being in the little town of Clearfield. Since 2008, I haven’t spent Thanksgiving with my family. The one person that would cook, is no longer here and all i think about is her cooking. That it touched me past the grumbling of my stomach, but my heart. Due to time and cancer, that heart was taken. I haven’t gotten pass that. At this point in my life, I dreamed of having my thanksgiving in a house that everything is paid for by months of hard work. That i’d be stressing if there is actually enough food for everyone. Dreams seems so far fetch when resources are not there. Constantly putting money in endless bills at a place that you don’t want to be at. Furthermore, to be waiting when you’ll go back to work due to insensitive workplace, stress is endless. However, is that what the real world is? Constant stress? Worrying if you are actually making a living in this hectic world? Why would you want to put yourself through that, since it won’t make a difference in the end? Such harbored feelings inside, in the end, I want to exploded on every last person that constantly made me feel that there was no way out. And i’m still feeling that there isn’t.

So much for it being a “happy” holiday…

Over and out,

Jay

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