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*Forever Free*

Through the browns of her eyes, she sees wonders

Month

July 2012

In the mind of Me

This is a sample of what I’ve been working on since January. Like most things, it’s a work in progress!

The sweet sound of slow drumming, making the notes dance in a sensual manner, while piano acceptingly and willing take the piece into another world, like a dancer to its partner if you will. I’ve sat and heard this familiar harmony that many have duplicated over the years.  As I take a sip of strongest taste of what distilled vodka entails, I look around to see the audience that this local band had enquired through the influences that the 1920’s greatest artists such as Duke Ellington and Louie Armstrong. Ah, the sweet memories. I looked at the gentleman on the Saxophone, allowing his fingers to move with the notes of A Love Supreme by Coltrane. I remember when he played that song in The Jazz Lounge on Broad and Erie. His hometown, the city of brotherly love welcomed him as it did me; 200 years ago. As the unknown saxophone player and band came to the last segment of the piece, the smell of freshly burned vanilla scented cigars and liquor became overwhelming; which add to my hunger. The piece ended and as he took his bow, his eyes looked directly into my grey eyes. As everyone applauded, he smiled as I sipped on the remainder of my drink. I smiled a flirtatious smile and ushered him over to my booth. He turned around and walked off the stage; meet me at my table.

“Anyone sitting here?” He questioned.

I flashed a smile, “No, please sit down.”

“What is your name, pretty lady?”

“I was about to ask you the same thing.”

“Chris.”

“Allegra.”

“Beautiful name.”

“Beautiful playing.”

“Thank you. Do you come here often?”

“Yes, I’ve been coming here for long time.”

He brushed his goatee, “Do you want a drink? Seem to me that you are empty.”

I chuckled, “No, not now but thank you.”

“So I sense that you are a fan of jazz.”

“If I wasn’t, I wouldn’t be here every evening.”

He laughed, “That would make sense. You have beautiful eyes.”

I can smell the nervousness off of him, making these night tolerable. I look to see that there was another band setting up for another segment of the evening.

“I’ve been told.”

“A woman of little words.”

“I apologize; I’m just a bit distracted.” I said, staring at the new band that was playing a rendition of Sunny Days by Reggie Codrington

“What are you doing later tonight?” He asked.

I notice that his nervousness was being replaces with a sense of straightforwardness. I could tell that his attraction wasn’t intellectual but more sexual. Which I’ve grown accustomed to over the years, since I still had the look of a 24 year old.

“Excuse me?” I pretended not to hear what he’d asked.

“I asked what you are doing tonight?” He said as he put his hand on mine.

His scent was intoxicating, like a child in a chocolate factory; surrounding with sinful indulgence. I threw my curly hair back and smiled. I would indulge myself in my guilty pleasure of Jazz tomorrow night but for now, I’m going to indulge in something that is the center of my existence.

He pushed me against a brick wall, while sucking on my neck. I growled, feeling my hunger started to rise in the pit of my stomach. He ran his hands through my curls as threw his tongue down my throat.  His pulse was getting stronger, letting me know that his blood was flowing thoroughly, without any interruption. The way that I liked it. I noticed the cars zooming by but blending into the busy streets of Broad and Erie; it was a faint memory. He hiked up my dress, putting two fingers into my mound.

“Damn Ma, you are soaking wet.” He broke from my lips

I looked at him and laughed, “Always baby!”

As he looked into my eyes, they went from my normal grey to midnight black.

I revealed my fangs, “Always”

Fear grew as quickly as his erection did, he turned to run but not fast enough for me as I pushed his head to the side and inserted my fangs into his jugular vain. Feeling his adrenaline rush through me like electricity and his blood awaking every sense to my body leaving me recharged. I heard his heartbeat start to slowly fade as I withdrew. He was gasping for air, trying to hold on the little bits of life that he did have left.

“It’s nothing personal. It’s just the way it is.” I said into his ear, allowing him to hear the last beat of his heart.

His lifeless body fell against the brick wall of the club, I blended back into the darkness while I heard the familar sounds of sirens in the background.

Feel free to comment, critique, whatever you choose!

Over and Out,

Jay

Hey, Remenber me?

Hey folks,

It’s been a minute, a very long minute since I’ve been blogging. The thing called WORK is weaseling into my own personal time, which is already limited. Anywhom, today being that it was a pleasant 90 degrees outside, I ended up going swimming. The one thing that I didn’t do a lot when I was younger was dive into a pool. Sure, I can swim and no, not float, but actually swim however diving; eh, not so much. Something about my body hitting the water, making a smacking sound, follow by an insane amount of stinging made it difficult for me to actually do the daunting task of diving into the chlorine-ridden water. However, something came over me, after taking of my shorts and shirt that I just said, “to hell with it”. It was hot and for all I knew, the water would have been cold as hell. Which was need for a day like this. I stood at the edge and dove in, not paying any attention to how my body form was but as soon as I came up, my babe said, “You did it! That was an amazing dive.” Made me think, if i don’t think about the act of doing the dive, the step in which i need to take to make a perfect dive; i can actually do it! Testing these theory, I dove again, worried more about getting into the water. As if my mind was on auto-switch, I started to think about how my body looked  and FLOP, the instant stinging came! My babe said that, “You gotta straighten you legs”, I followed by asking, “What happens if my feet hit the edge of the pool?”. She responded, “It won’t” For the next 15 mins, I practice my diving and tested her suggestion. Eventually, I stopped diving and just enjoyed the warmness of the pool.

The reason that I wrote this is to go back to this, why put so much thought into something that is enjoyable. Maybe the idea of my negative self-image at the age of 8 clouded any type of activity that I would have enjoyed; whether it was swimming or anything that would require exposure. Now, at the age of 23, developing a mindset of “What’s the worst that can happen?” or “To hell with it” gives me a gateway to escape my sense of fear and explore the very phrase of being free. Whether it’s my writing, my relationship or anything that would cause my left side of my brain to activate and create scenarios that would stray me away from actually living, I couldn’t. I realize that, day by day, I’m not the same girl I was once was.

There you go, folks, food for thought:)

Over and Out,

Jay

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